Serial Trainer

I know the “about” page is normally where all this crap goes, but I wanted a more personal biography to go here. I guess what sets me apart from most trainers these days is that I battle my weight in a more pronounced way than they do. Most are maintaining all the weight they’ve lost and just battle keeping that scale from going up more than 1-5 lbs.

My battle is that I never had a weight problem. My first job out of HS was teaching aerobics at the local health club. My lowest weight was 108 lbs and my highest weight came when I started weight training and I got to a stocked 125lbs.

Since that time, I’ve been married, divorced and had four boys. After my fourth son, I had a harder time losing the weight because I began to suffer from anxiety and my depression got worse than it ever was. I was diagnosed with Manic Depression when I was 19 but I knew I suffered with it since I as at least 13.

It wasn’t until the 9/11 event that my anxiety took it’s toll on me. I had two boys that had fathers in another state and they would go to visit them. I’d literally have to take a xanax to be able to watch them board the plane and leave. It was during this time that I reached 190 lbs.

I couldn’t even see it on myself. I wasn’t seeing who was in the mirror.

So the summer of 2004, we got a pool in the backyard and it was by far our most fun summer ever with the boys. I decided to mark the year with pictures. When I got the pictures back, I cried for days. I was staring at someone I didn’t recognize. I was overweight and depressed and lost.

I started to take my life back. I lost weight and got down to 147lbs. But my troubles weren’t and aren’t over. I go for months and months and eat right and workout. I never can seem to get the weight down and being a personal trainer, this makes me doubt my own knowledge and abilities at times. I’ll fall off the wagon so to speak and give up. Go a couple days and not workout out of frustration. I know sometimes it’s the Bipolar Disorder (I like how they change the name on us!) which I like to call my “inner demon”. Other times I’m just truly so tired of skating uphill (so it seems).

It’s my friends that get results when I guide them. It’s strangers who throw their arms around me and hug me because I’ve helped them that make me get off the damn couch and fight. Because I’m fighting /with/ them. I’m different from other personal trainers because I’m still the self-conscious, binge eating, I-don’t-want-to-get-off-the-couch, mom of four boys with no “me” time.

I’m different because I’m not trying to maintain. I’m not wearing a size 5. I’m just trying to get through today.


Cupcake says:

Thanks for sharing your struggle – I think you are doing an amazingly generous thing on your blog, sharing with those of us who are trying to take control of a seemingly out-of-control weight problem!

I am definitely working to be healthier. Looking good is a desirable by-product!

Anyway, thank you again!


serialtrainer says:

Thank you so much, Cupcake. I hope you reach your goals and I hope I can see you attain your goal =)

Jay says:

Wow, that was deep. Really puts things into perspective. More people who are obsessed about fitting into a certain size really need to realize that it’s really about health! Thanks for visiting my blog πŸ™‚

Elly says:

This is a terrific blog post thanks for sharing this useful information.. I will visit your site regularly for some latest article. Respectfully, Elly.

serialtrainer says:

Thanks Elly for stopping by! I’m glad that you find the information useful and if you should have any other questions, please drop ’em by!

Hey, thanks for that great page. Honestly, about three months back I started taking reading blogs and there may be just so much junk out there. I recognize that you put terrific subject matter out which is clear and well-written. Very good luck and thanks for the superb page!

serialtrainer says:

Thank you Simonne for posting such lovely comments! Drop by anytime for more info!

Resor says:

kinda like the post that you have written . it really isn’t that simple to find great stuff toactually read (you know.. READ and not just browsing through it like some zombie before moving on), so cheers mate for really not wasting my time! πŸ˜‰

Resor says:

continue with the the great work on the site. I love it. Could use some more frequent updates, but i am sure that you got some better things to do like we all have to do unfortunately. πŸ™‚

serialtrainer says:

Life just gets super busy for me. Plus I don’t want to blog half-heartedly. I like to make my blogs meaningful and not just churned out for numbers πŸ˜‰

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