Why I stretch

Because as much as it hurts, it feels amazing. It allows the muscles the elasticity they need to work without injury.

…. And it feels amazing

WTF Wednesday

I think only females experience this kind of bullshit. Why do guys do this?

I’m at the gym. It’s arm day. I finally get a bench and I’m working through my sets, honing in on shoulders…when this guy walks up. I thought he was just grabbing weights, so I turn sideways and place my weights down for a moment to rest. I start talking to my brother to ask how many more he has then turn back so I can get back to work.

The dude starts working out in front of me…

Are you serious kid? So my short ass leans to the side so he gets a good view of my glare and he turns to his friend…who is standing in front of the female beside me trying to do some leg work and lunges.

Really? The mirrors go the length of the wall dude and no I don’t want to watch you workout.

Finally, Rico Suave realizes we’re about to maul him so he turns and “suggests” to his equally rude counterpart that they workout “over there.”

Listen up guys, women are hitting the grind with as much dedication as you. If you don’t like it, go workout in your garage. Four benches to my left and two on my right, all occupied by men (except the other female on my right) and the prima Donna steps in front of the two females.

Luckily, they moved. Because two of the other three benches were taken by my Wolfpack. That’s right, asshole. I come with a pack. Drive your ass through!

What’s something you’ve experienced from a rude person in the gym?

Clarification..Serial Trainer

Some people have said that there is copycat “serial trainer” out there ..

just to clarify …I’ve looked the other one up and be still your hearts, that person is not me and they have nothing to do with this site or working out for that matter. However!…we both love martial arts! So that’s a good thing..I think.

Every serial k…er..trainer..;D must have a copy cat..but they never quite live up to the original.

Happy Training!

Kettle Calling the Pot..belly?

Some of you have read my “Poor Man’s Gym” and I wanted to update some exercises for those of you that don’t have access to a home gym and want to tear it up at home. I cannot stress the importance of kettle balls and bands enough. If you want a nice, toned look..these two items will help you obtain it and even more so if you combine them with calisthenics.

Now, some of you are sitting there with that “deer in the headlight” look and wondering what the heck that big word, calisthenics, means:

calisthenics: are a form of dynamic exercise consisting of a variety of simple, often rhythmical, movements, generally using minimal equipment or apparatus. They are intended to increase body strength and flexibility with movements such as bending, jumping, swinging, twisting or kicking, using only one’s body weight for resistance. [from the ever famous Wikipedia!]

I’m including a picture that will give you some ideas for kettle ball exercises. You can YOUTUBE them and find tons of them. I guarantee that they will kick your butt!

For Women Only!

So my most popular post is “Happy National Chest Day” and I thought I’d expand on this one because there are so many people interested in it, but I don’t think there’s enough information out there for women that want to tone up and have no real guidance. The common scenario I get is: “I’ve just been doing my boyfriend/husband/brother’s routine” and I ask, “How’s that going for you?” and they say, “I don’t know, I don’t like it too much” to which I respond, “So are your goals to look like your husband/boyfriend/brother?”

I get the oddest looks to that question. But it makes sense, doesn’t it? Anyone that doesn’t ask what your goals are before designing or suggesting a workout regimen for you needs to NOT be designing your workout regimen.

Most women want a lean, sexy look so that they can fit into their tops and feel confident. They don’t want “big guns” and a “chiseled chest” in most cases. So why on earth are they doing chest presses at max weight for 5-10 reps? It doesn’t even take the stand six weeks to see that you’re looking more bulky and your scale numbers are going up.

One thing I like to recommend to my female clients is Pilates. Integrating Pilates moves into your workouts helps strengthen your core muscles and improve your posture. I also suggest some Yoga moves or classes. Stretching the muscles and improving your balance is also very important. If you mix up your routine to include a little of those two types of exercises, you’ll find that your body will take on some very nice results.

Now, let’s hone in on key problem areas for women and address them!

“The Bra Stuff” — The floppy skin that hangs over your bra. Oh c’mon let’s keep it real! How many times have you gone to put on your bra and a form fitting shirt only to see what didn’t fit, muffin out a little?

How to fix it: Cardio. 30-45 mins and lat pull. A good way to find your right weight is to do a few reps. The last five should be the hardest ones and give you just a little struggle. It’s best to have a trainer (if you belong to a gym) do an orientation with you so we can watch your posture and form. In most cases this is a free service offered by your health club. The purpose of the orientation is to tell us if you’re using the right muscle groups, if you’re compensating with another and most importantly, it helps us protect you from pulling muscles or injuring yourself.

If you don’t have a trainer it’s best to invest in a mirror. Watch your form and be sure that you do your research into exactly how that exercise should be done.

“Soft Fluffy Shoulders” — If your neck slopes down in an hourglass form into your shoulders, this is you.
Some people naturally carry their weight differently than others. That’s just the way it is. Nothing to be ashamed of. How your shaped is your own special look and you cannot change your body shape, only how it looks. If you’re curvaceous, that’s ok! If you’ve got narrow hips, that’s OK too! You can accent different areas of your body to draw attention to where you want it. In this case the “Fluffy Shoulders” is frustrating to females that feel like their built like a football player…gear and all.

How to fix it: Cardio. (some of you are starting to get the hint that there’s a pattern to this by now) In order to accentuate the beautiful line of the neck and sexy shoulders. There are a few exercises that can enhance the look but the key is to be careful that you do them correctly or else you’ll end up with an even bulkier look.

Shoulder Raises: Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. You should have two light dumbbells in your hands with palms facing down. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly as you raise your arms in front of you to chest level, inhale again as you bring them down and then repeat but bring your arms out to either side (again, to shoulder level). A good hint is to do this exercise slowly..count 1-1000, 2-2000, 3-3000 etc..up to 5-5000. Do a set of 12-15, rest and repeat 2 more times. Be careful not to use your neck!

“Gravity” — Does this need further explanation? In order to give you a lifted look, doing chest presses in a slightly angled position works the chest to give you your own “wonder bra” effect. You can do this on a bench or on a fitness ball. If you this is your first time, start on a bench because the fitness ball will throw off your balance. You can use your dumbbells, bands or barbell. I usually prefer to train female (and male) clients with bands because there is equal resistance throughout the motion and it’s harder to cheat.

Start with your hands at chest level, take a deep breath and exhale as you push upward. Your arms should make a large arc, hugging motion as you bring them upward, then meet in the middle above your chest. Give an extra squeeze and then release to repeat. If you’re trying to tone the muscles and not bulk up, do the same repetitions/sets as the previous exercise.

“Got Cleavage?”Who doesn’t want a nice cleavage when wearing V-Neck shirts or the cute babydoll tops that are all the fashion?

How to fix it: Push-ups!..and Cardio. (did you think you were getting away with it??)

Push ups can be done several ways. Arms wide for more chest isolation and arms closer to work them triceps! Try changing it up and do three sets, working up to 20. Once you get more advanced, try doing them at an incline by raising your feet on a chair or bench, you can also do them with your hands on a dynadisk or fitness ball (be careful!). I also throw in a change here and there by having clients keep one hand on an elevated surface (like a book or small ball) then alternate each rep from side to side. Get creative and challenge yourself. Push-ups work more than your chest and triceps, so you’ll start seeing the difference in your posture as well.

There’s a lot more I can put in here but I’ve decided to break it up. Stay tuned for part 2 and give me some feedback or questions!

Serial Twitter

I’ve added myself to Twitter! Come add me!

www.twitter.com/serialtrainer

I’m also on FB and MySpace!

Ch’Arms…? Seriously!?

So..Ch’arms. I sat down one morning and heard Rod Ryan of the Buzz (94.5 in Houston) and he was ranting about these things. I couldn’t help but go and look into this. They are Spanx..for your arms. I’m *almost* speechless.

Almost.

But that would be like asking me not to breathe..and well..that’s not gonna happen anytime soon!

If you have 29.99 to buy Ch’arms, you have dues for a health club membership or a payment on some kind of exercise equipment. It will certainly buy you a kettle ball or fitness ball. And guess what? Push ups are free, ladies.

Have we seriously entered into the realm of DENIAL? Stuffing yourself into spanx and ch’arms like a sausage is nearly ridiculous. Now, ladies, we’ve all bought “control top” pantyhose..what happens?  Everything gets held in there and ….drumroll….gets muffin topped elsewhere. Honestly, what is the point!? Body Spanx?

Stop.
Just….stop.

Accept that you’re beautiful. You’re real. You’re working on issues, don’t try to hide them in stretchy body trampolines. At least carry some scissors in case your blood stops flowing.

Text Messages of the “Day After”

J: Your torture methods are effective. If I stay still the pain sets in. If I keep moving it’s bearable but moving hurts. You should work for Black Ops or something.

Me: rofl!!!!!!!

J: I need a butt donut. oi.

I love you girlfriend! LOL

FREE STUFF

I’ve decided that I’m going to get this blog going again with a bang!

So what does that mean for you? FREE STUFF.

Random posters/commentors/questioners will get something free from me. It could be something as small as a water bottle or something bigger like free supplements. Maybe a T-Shirt. You get the idea. So post away!

If there are any sponsors that would like to get in on this, please contact me at serialtrainer@gmail.com

Put away the Winter Bulk!

Here I am again! This year has gone by so quickly but it’s been full of events. In addition to my years as a trainer, I’ve expanded my resume a bit and tried a new line of work. Why am I telling you this? Because I think it’s important that you relate to your trainer, even if they are online. How many of you have looked at your trainer, or overheard them talk about how they’ve never been overweight?

Even though that is not always the case, it’s frustrating to those of us that have jobs that don’t allow us to move around all day or have free gym memberships. It’s increasingly frustrated, if on top of that, we’ve always struggled with a weight problem.

Some of our weight problems can be due to illness but it’s up to us to take responsibility where it’s due. Sometimes..it’s because we want to eat a Big Mac instead of a salad with grilled chicken. Sometimes, it’s because we want a chocolate milk shake from Burger King instead of a protein meal replacement shake.

Without dragging it out further, I’m going to give you insight to my year in hopes that it will inspire you and encourage you to never give up your goals.

As I previously mentioned, I changed my line of work. I started June of 2009 as a Leasing Consultant. I love this job. However, it does have it’s challenges. It can be very stressful and there’s not a lot of “labor” involved other than walking. Thank goodness for that because if I had to sit at a desk like some of you are forced to do, I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I really feel for anyone that has to be chained in their seat and I can see how that puts more challenge into your weight loss/fitness plans.

In addition to that, I’ve been doing promoting and bookings in my area. So I work 9-6, get off work, go to my Martial Arts class, go to my “night job” come home, spend a few minutes with the spawnlings, then collapse into bed. I feel like a Gerbil in a Ball on some days. My sleeping had become sporatic and I was looking as tired as I felt.

On top of the job change, I also ran into some health issues. Normally, I wouldn’t be so personal but that’s what this blog is all about; Making me a real person to you.

I found out that I had severe endometriosis..again. On top of that, I had what they call a “frozen pelvis”. Scary name huh? I thought so. I was in a great deal of pain and I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I continued to go to my gynecologist for these arcane, medieval type tests and was getting nowhere with them. I decided to get a second opinion and was advised that maybe it was time to just tie my tubes or explore what was going on through a laparoscopy. Thank goodness I opted for that. Upon starting the procedure, my doctor told me he couldn’t even get in there! He told me that if there was anything wrong, I may have to have a complete hysterectomy before the surgery, so it was something I was prepared for. I’m 37 and have four boys..I’m not opposed to the idea of being unable to have anymore!

To make a long story short, my doctor told me that it was the worst thing he’s seen in 20 years of practice and that he was surprised I could even function. I had the hysterectomy done with the mental preparation that I may in fact gain weight..weight that took me so long to lose. The first time that I had the endometriosis, I climed the scale to 180lbs. I’m 5’3 so I looked about twice that weight.

I’m happy to say that through the stress of my job (we had 1/2 the staff we normally have so I was working double hours with double work) and the surgery, I’m very happy with the results. I’m happier. I’m more active. I’m no longer in pain. And I feel like a million dollars.

I’m down to about 130-132 lbs. Still some work to go, but it’s been much easier since my surgery. Being bed-ridden for 6 weeks was the hardest thing I’ve had to do. I’ve never been sedentary to that degree. Gaining the stamina back was rough but my body remembered soon enough.

The point in all this is that you have to stand back up every time you fall off the horse. Everytime. Do not let it get you down. Learn why you fell, fix it, forgive yourself and move on. It’s okay to stumble, but if you stay down, it’s called defeat. You have to fight for what you want. It sounds cheesy and cliche but it’s the truth. Cue the Rocky Music and get your butt motivated.

In other good news: I’ve started training live people again! 😀 Hopefully, they will let me post some before and after pics as well as results. I will be sure to post them if I get their permission! Keep your eyes peeled and remember that all it takes is an email to get some help from me, online…or post your comments/questions to the blog! Chances are..if you have a question, someone else has been wondering the same thing!