WTF Wednesday

I think only females experience this kind of bullshit. Why do guys do this?

I’m at the gym. It’s arm day. I finally get a bench and I’m working through my sets, honing in on shoulders…when this guy walks up. I thought he was just grabbing weights, so I turn sideways and place my weights down for a moment to rest. I start talking to my brother to ask how many more he has then turn back so I can get back to work.

The dude starts working out in front of me…

Are you serious kid? So my short ass leans to the side so he gets a good view of my glare and he turns to his friend…who is standing in front of the female beside me trying to do some leg work and lunges.

Really? The mirrors go the length of the wall dude and no I don’t want to watch you workout.

Finally, Rico Suave realizes we’re about to maul him so he turns and “suggests” to his equally rude counterpart that they workout “over there.”

Listen up guys, women are hitting the grind with as much dedication as you. If you don’t like it, go workout in your garage. Four benches to my left and two on my right, all occupied by men (except the other female on my right) and the prima Donna steps in front of the two females.

Luckily, they moved. Because two of the other three benches were taken by my Wolfpack. That’s right, asshole. I come with a pack. Drive your ass through!

What’s something you’ve experienced from a rude person in the gym?

Get ready for the new sh*t

I’ve had this site for a few years, and to be honest, I was so burnt out on posting every day. Life changes, people change, and I’ve been through so much.

One of the topics we chatted about before is depression vs. all around health. For me, I’ve been up and down, not only with my own mental health, but for my son who deals with a type of treatment resistant schizophrenia. It took years to get him on a medicine that helps him be “functional.” We’ve worked so hard to get to this point, nothing else seemed important for such a long time.

In the interim, I also started a home business; a small press (Stitched Smile Publications) which produces a quarterly magazine. It kept me sane while trying to deal with everything. There were days I literally woke up and wanted to do fvck all. Hey, we’re being honest right? You think all trainers wake up every day with Gladiator Mode switched to “on” but we’re human, too.

Skip ahead to Sept 28, 2021 and after two rounds of contracting COVID–despite all precautions–I suffered a STEMI heart attack with 100% blockage. I was stunned! Even though I wasn’t training anyone, I was still HEALTHY, so WTAF?

Things happen and we will never have all the answers. The truth is, if I wasn’t as healthy and aware of my body, I probably wouldn’t have survived it. But here I am…and since then, it’s lit a fire under my ass. Though I’m not training anyone anymore, I’m still here to give you over 20+ years of knowledge and my unfiltered, uncensored truth. Because that’s what I do. I’ll save the sunshine and rainbows for the trainers in the gym. They are the unsung heroes. For me and my house, we will swim in sarcasm and lift iron with the snarkiest.

I’ll post my progress to getting back to “normal” and losing the 20lbs I gained in my recovery of the event that nearly took me out. It’s been 4 months and I’m getting stronger. My goal is to rock the summer bod by June.

Who’s with me?

Starbucks..mmmm

I wanted to thank the lady in front of me in line for my Skinny Caramel Macciato (did I spell that right??) who, for no reason other than someone did it for her the day before, paid for my Starbucks.

Kind acts like this are amazing. I’m glad to see there’s still a bit of humanity and connectedness among us!

I didn’t even know her, but she’s my favorite person today 🙂

Happy Saturday!!

Serving Size: 16 oz

Amount per Serving

• Calories 110 Calories from Fat 10

% Daily Value *

• Total Fat 1g 2%
• Saturated Fat 0.5g 2%
• Monounsaturated Fat 0g  
• Polyunsaturated Fat 0g  
• Trans Fat 0g  
• Cholesterol 10mg 3%
• Sodium 140mg 6%
• Potassium 0mg 0%
• Total Carbohydrate 15g 5%
• Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
• Sugars 12g  
• Protein 11g 22%

• Vitamin A10%
• Vitamin C0%
• Calcium35%
• Iron0%
• Vitamin D0%
• Vitamin K0%
• Thiamin (B1)0%
• Riboflavin (B2)0%
• Niacin (B3)0%
• Vitamin B60%
• Biotin0%
• Panthothenic Acid0%
• Manganese0%
• Chromium0%
• Molybdenum0%

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/thedailyplate/nutrition-calories/food/starbucks/grande-skinny-sugar-free-caramel-macchiato/#ixzz1ASYgQI3u

Clarification..Serial Trainer

Some people have said that there is copycat “serial trainer” out there ..

just to clarify …I’ve looked the other one up and be still your hearts, that person is not me and they have nothing to do with this site or working out for that matter. However!…we both love martial arts! So that’s a good thing..I think.

Every serial k…er..trainer..;D must have a copy cat..but they never quite live up to the original.

Happy Training!

Kettle Calling the Pot..belly?

Some of you have read my “Poor Man’s Gym” and I wanted to update some exercises for those of you that don’t have access to a home gym and want to tear it up at home. I cannot stress the importance of kettle balls and bands enough. If you want a nice, toned look..these two items will help you obtain it and even more so if you combine them with calisthenics.

Now, some of you are sitting there with that “deer in the headlight” look and wondering what the heck that big word, calisthenics, means:

calisthenics: are a form of dynamic exercise consisting of a variety of simple, often rhythmical, movements, generally using minimal equipment or apparatus. They are intended to increase body strength and flexibility with movements such as bending, jumping, swinging, twisting or kicking, using only one’s body weight for resistance. [from the ever famous Wikipedia!]

I’m including a picture that will give you some ideas for kettle ball exercises. You can YOUTUBE them and find tons of them. I guarantee that they will kick your butt!

Real Men..

Now that I’ve caught your attention with the title of this post..I would like to thank “Real Men Eat Lettuce” for the suggestion of the content.

Guys, it is up to you now to incorporate the challenge. Women will be working on chest presses and push-ups and you will be incorporating some Pilates moves into your workout.

First Exercise?  The Hundred. I found a great link that explains how to do this move, so rather than retype it, I’m going to add the link HERE. If you scroll down on that page, there are tips for advancement.

Next exercise: The Plank. The plank is an excellent exercise and I highly recommend it to anyone that has a computer/sit down job. If you’re getting the sloping neck where your chin and/or head leans forward even while standing, you should incorporate this position in your daily routine.

Here are some good Yoga poses geared toward men, HERE.

Ch’Arms…? Seriously!?

So..Ch’arms. I sat down one morning and heard Rod Ryan of the Buzz (94.5 in Houston) and he was ranting about these things. I couldn’t help but go and look into this. They are Spanx..for your arms. I’m *almost* speechless.

Almost.

But that would be like asking me not to breathe..and well..that’s not gonna happen anytime soon!

If you have 29.99 to buy Ch’arms, you have dues for a health club membership or a payment on some kind of exercise equipment. It will certainly buy you a kettle ball or fitness ball. And guess what? Push ups are free, ladies.

Have we seriously entered into the realm of DENIAL? Stuffing yourself into spanx and ch’arms like a sausage is nearly ridiculous. Now, ladies, we’ve all bought “control top” pantyhose..what happens?  Everything gets held in there and ….drumroll….gets muffin topped elsewhere. Honestly, what is the point!? Body Spanx?

Stop.
Just….stop.

Accept that you’re beautiful. You’re real. You’re working on issues, don’t try to hide them in stretchy body trampolines. At least carry some scissors in case your blood stops flowing.

Text Messages of the “Day After”

J: Your torture methods are effective. If I stay still the pain sets in. If I keep moving it’s bearable but moving hurts. You should work for Black Ops or something.

Me: rofl!!!!!!!

J: I need a butt donut. oi.

I love you girlfriend! LOL

Monday Challenge

Most people start off their Monday’s doing the “Chest Workout”. If you look on my site, it’s probably the most popular post I have on this blog. My challenge today is to break out of the routine. Our bodies are amazing and can adapt to nearly any condition, routine, workout that you give it. Variety is the key to breaking boundaries. Whether it be to get over a plateau or to just bust out of the monotony.

Who’s up for the challenge? Post here and let me know what you did today to boycott National Chest Day!

FREE STUFF

I’ve decided that I’m going to get this blog going again with a bang!

So what does that mean for you? FREE STUFF.

Random posters/commentors/questioners will get something free from me. It could be something as small as a water bottle or something bigger like free supplements. Maybe a T-Shirt. You get the idea. So post away!

If there are any sponsors that would like to get in on this, please contact me at serialtrainer@gmail.com